Life lessons from Krav Maga

I signed up for Krav Maga about a year ago, because I didn’t want to rely on overworked cops or the government for my safety. The training has been tough. I go into every class with a little prayer in my heart, hoping I return with all my body parts intact. I’ve had the fortune to be taught by Sir Franklin Joseph and a few inspiring senior students from the Badazz Academy. They showed tremendous patience, humility and humour as they pushed me out of my comfort zone every time. 

Krav Maga is more than a few self-defense tricks. It’s a mindset. And this is what I learnt.

Find what you love, and let it kill you.

Within a few weeks of joining Badazz, you start to notice a man who hops on a bus every Friday night, travels about 500km to Bangalore to teach Krav Maga, and spends every weekend away from his family. Every weekend. Month after month. Year after year. The training is not pretty, so most students don’t show up after the first month. Krav Maga has given him a broken rib, torn muscles, bad knees. Being a teacher can get lonely.

When you get to know Frank Sir some more, you see how and why he pulls it off. It’s because his heart and soul are into Krav Maga, into shaping his students, into chipping away at our fears and outdated points of view. But we’re not a bunch of students for him, we’re family. It’s not a career, but a way of life that pulled him out of his darkest hour, and he wants to pass on that learning to those who have the stomach for it.

It’s all good to read Bukowski but something else to see someone you know live the words. What you deeply love will consume you, and it won’t always be pleasant. “For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.”

Know who’s on your side.

When you meet Frank Sir’s family, you realize how he still manages to keep at Krav Maga. It’s not a conventional career. There’s no together-time on weekends and no predictable corporate paycheck at the end of the month. But they’re as committed to his pursuit of Krav Maga, as he is. His wife says it’s because they see that it makes him deeply happy.

I head out for Krav Maga class every Sunday morning, irrespective of the shape the excesses of the night before have left me in. My husband welcomes me back when I get home with bruises and sprains, no comment. I set out for a Krav Maga boot camp in the jungles of Dandeli, to train with a bunch of guys he’d never met. He only asked me if I trusted them and asked me to be safe. We bicker about the smallest things and want to shoot each other in the head on a regular basis. But when it comes to things that he knows will make me happy, he makes sure to get out of the way if that’s what it takes.

The best relationships are not necessarily the smoothest ones. They can be roller coaster rides. You will need a strong sense of perspective and staying power to recognize and cherish the people who will be on your side when the world thinks you’re a freak.

Say yes to fear.

In Krav Maga, you’re learning to cause pain and damage to your opponent. You simulate situations of sudden attack, shock and pain so your body and mind get used to it. You hit steel radials with your bare knuckles, you get punched and kicked in the stomach and thighs, you get slapped hard on your face, you spar. A few hundred punches, kicks, squats, front rolls and fireman drills are all in a day’s work. Safety precautions are certainly taken, but things can get unpredictable, because at the end of the day, you’re trying to learn about the street. And unpredictability equals fear.

In class, we laugh a lot as we learn to confront and understand our fears. As a woman brought up in a typical overprotective Indian middle class environment, when a big strong man is going mental at a punching bag I’m holding, it makes me nervous. What if the bag slips. What if he misses the bag. What if I break something.

What if.

The two words that best define the wonder-filled world of human imagination. Make us invent amazing things and miserable excuses alike. Make us run away from discomfort and failure. Stop us from getting in the middle and giving it a shot. What if I’m fired. What if I make a complete ass of myself. What if I drown. What if I’m attacked by a ghost. What if I lose all my savings. What if my friends stop calling me.

What if I fall.

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

You can’t beat strength with strength.

Most students in my class are in their 20s or early 30s. I’m a woman pushing 40, faced with men twice my size and many times my strength. Krav Maga teaches you that all this doesn’t matter. If a 6’ 2” 90 kilo man is pinning you down to the ground, you won’t get out if you’re fighting his muscle power with yours. You don’t resist. You just bring him close, then go for his weak spots. He has plenty. Groin. Eyes. Ears. Bone. Joints. Nose. A bite. A sudden thrust of your hips and a turn, and you’re on top.

Krav Maga helps you understand the human body and mind, so you know its frailties. It helps you use fundamental physics to exploit them, in the least possible time, with maximum damage. The answer is always simple. And there will be more than one answer. Don’t struggle. Don’t waste time. Be efficient. Be quick. Cheat. Innovate. Explode. Scan. Repeat. Learn to stop seeing your barriers, and start to see the spaces between them. And run as fast as you can.

Your enemy – whether it’s a man or woman or a sticky situation or a handicap – always has multiple weak points.  Find them, break them, get out. Beat strength with smart. Beat smart with speed. Beat an ego with an apology. Beat brawn with brain. Beat brain with balls.

Be prepared. Be prepared to be surprised.

There is no other way to be prepared, than to practice. In Krav Maga, you’re taught to embrace your threat. Bring it as close as possible. Your body and mind will reject this way of thinking at first, because your natural instinct is to resist threat. You will struggle. You won’t find those quick exits. So you practice hard. For many years. Till it becomes second nature. And you’re prepared. Or you think you are, and you walk down the street. And you’re unlucky enough to be confronted, and you freeze. And for the first few seconds that matter, you forget what you learnt over hundreds of hours in class. Poof. Just like that.

The street is unpredictable, as is life. Even if you have your wits about you and overpower your attacker, you don’t know if he or she has back up. Or how many. Or who they are. Or when they’ll turn up. Or if they will show mercy. You need to be prepared to take a few hits. Or many.

Just don’t let them break you.

Find a teacher.

The great ones are those who will train you in not just a skill, but a mindset. The best ones are those willing to learn from their students even after decades of teaching.

The perspectives expressed here are personal views of the writer. Any wrong representation of Krav Maga should be attributed to her misunderstanding of and sheer lack of experience in the tactic. To learn Krav Maga if you’re in Bangalore, get in touch with Sir Franklin via http://kravmagabangalore.in/