Hi.
Hi.
(Kiss. Kiss.)
How’re you?
Fine. You?
Tired. How was your day?
Good. Yours?
Fuck-all. What did you do?
Not much. Slept, ate, drank, looked at the sky, watered the plants, slept, read, slept, continue to read.
Sounds like a totally unproductive day. I may be jealous.
You don’t need to be. Why don’t you take a break like me? Maybe a couple of weeks.
Cannot.
Ok. Anything interesting today?
Yes. Client fucked me with a pair of staplers.
Sorry.
No worries. Tomorrow, I fuck him with a porcupine farm.
Ok.
I’m starving. What would you like for dinner?
I’ll organize it. Chinese?
Ok.
You go and wash up. I’ll take care of the dialling. My fingers need a little exercise, or my ring won’t fit anymore.
Ok.

She leaves the room. He looks carefully for the big wet booger he’d hidden in his pyjamas when he heard her walking in. He quietly exults when he finds it intact. He picks up the phone with his left hand and dials a number, while his right plays deftly with the booger. She washes up and heads to the living room, straight to the day’s newspaper supplement.

Dinner arrives and he reluctantly washes off his play-doh. They eat without a word.

He’s clearing the dishes while she stands around in the kitchen, finishing off her apple juice.

Sheila had called. She was asking about your break. Said this is the right time to adopt babies, so you can take care of them.
I can never understand her sense of humour.
She sounded serious.
What she sounds, is seriously twisted.
I think I’m going to go in for a shower.
Ok.
I better get a promotion for all this.
Why don’t you quit your job?
Who’s going to feed us then?
I’ll get one.
No, enjoy your break. I just had a bad day and need to let off some steam. I’m going in for a shower.
Ok.

He’s back in bed with his book. She’s making noise with her hair dryer.

I look like a ghost. If my hairline recedes anymore, it’ll run into my butt.
You look fine.
Did you read about the robbery at Bank of India? Apparently, they robbed them with toy pistols.
Ok.
Will you wash my black trousers tomorrow? I need them for a meeting next Monday.
Ok.

She gets on to the bed and stares at the ceiling.

What book are you reading?
Junk.

He shows her.

Ok. Good night, then. I have an early morning tomorrow.
Good night, darling.

(Kiss. Kiss.)

It’s five in the morning.
He hasn’t slept a wink.
She’s dreaming of porcupines.