W: Can you switch the fan on, on your way out please?
H: But I’m not going out.
W: You just said you were.
H: I said no such thing.
W: You said you’re just going out to the kitchen, that’s what you said.
H: Why would I want to go to the kitchen?
W: How am I supposed to know? Why did you want to go to the kitchen anyway?
H: I did not want to go to the kitchen.
W: Then why did you tell me you did?
H: I did not want to go to the kitchen, and I never told you I was going to the kitchen.
W: You surely did.
H: No.
W: So am I hearing things now?
H: Do I look like your psychiatrist? Why don’t you wash your ears more often?
W: You’re lying; you’ve changed your mind just because you don’t want to put on the fan.
H: What???
W: Yes that’s what it is. It’s bloody hot, I’m boiling and melting here and you don’t want to put on the fan because you want to watch me die a messy death.
H: Don’t tempt me.
W: So tell me one last time. Are you going to switch the fan on or not?
H: You want it on, you switch it on.
W: I know I can switch it on, but I’m just asking you one last time, you can say yes or no.
H: N.O.
W: Fine. If you don’t put on the fan, I’ll die and then who will look after you?
H: Is that a promise?
W: Oh yeah? Please figure out which roof you’re going to sleep under tonight, and what you’re going to have for dinner.
H: You mean you’re throwing me out of the house? All because you don’t want to move your fat ass?
W: Yes.
H: Great. I didn’t know it would be so easy. In fact, let’s not wait for tonight. I’ll leave NOW.
W: Stop yelling.
H: Stop asking me to stop yelling. It’s my house, my voice, my stinky mouth, I’ll yell all I want.
W: Don’t overreact. Are you sure you want to do this?
H: Yes.
W: So you’re going now, are you?
H: Yes.
W: Where are you going?
H: None of your business. I’ll be out of this house and out of your way.
W: Are you sure you want to leave the house?
H: Never been surer, you lazy cow.
W: Fine, but just switch the fan on, on your way out.