Overheard at a bathroom at a friend’s.
Man 1: “Come on man, wash your face.”
Man 2: ”ptthpth…”
Man 1: “Come on, wash your face.”
Man 1: “Come on man, wash your damn face and you’ll feel better.”
Man 2: “ya.”
Man 1: ”You fucker…come on, wash your fucking face.”
Man 2: “psssph…”
Man 1: “Oh come on, wash your FACE you drunk fuck. You’ll feel much better man.”
Man 2: “…”
Man 1: “W.A.S.H.Y.O.U.R.F.A.C.E.”
Man 2: “mmmph tee hee.”
(Sounds of Man 1 gently slapping Man 2 in the face.)
Man 1: “You’ll feel better if you wash…your…face…Do you hear me you fucker?”
Man 2: “ok.”
(Ten seconds later…)
Man 1 (now pleading): “Oh God, come on man. See here’s your hand, here’s your face, here’s some water, join the fucking dots man, put the water on your face, and you’ll feel better.”
Man 1: “See, water…face…water…face…come on now.”
Man 1: “Come on you drunk chut, come on, wash your face and you’ll feel BETTER.”
Man 1: “Fuck! You FUCK FACE! Come on, don’t push it now. Wash your face, now that’s a good boy, come on, wash your face and you’ll feel better.”
Man 1: “…”
Man 2: “ok, I wash face…ptthhp.”
Man 1: “Now that’s better.”
Man 1: “Wake up, wake up you bastard. Wash your face…”
(Sounds of some activity involving water, a hand and a face.)
Man 1: “That’s better. See that was so easy…See, don’t you feel better now?”
Man 2: “No.”